Finding Community After College Takes Work: How One Philly Transplant Is Making It Easier to Make Friends

Graduating from college feels like a new beginning full of opportunity and freedom—like embarking on a journey down a wide, open road where the possibilities are endless.

But what often feels overlooked is the move away from the structured environment which made socializing easier: striking instant friendships with classmates, clubmates, or roommates, and having a clear sense of purpose—graduating.

So much of the focus after graduation is on career and professional success—which, after all the time and expense, is more than justified. But the further you get from graduation, the more you realize that creating the life you want takes effort—and that’s not just in your career, but in everything: friendships, relationships, family, finances, etc… the list goes on.

That realization not only led me to starting this blog, but also to explore ways people can find community in their areas… which led me straight to Maddie Seidel.

Maddie Seidel is a December 2023 graduate of Penn State University who studied Kinesiology.

Like many students nearing graduation, Maddie had a vision for what she wanted to do next (for her, she thought about becoming an occupational or physical therapist). But over time, the vision changed.

Instead of rushing into more schooling, she decided to wait until she felt sure about her next step. She moved to Philadelphia with her boyfriend in August 2024.

Moving to a New City After College Is Exciting — and Sometimes Isolating

Moving to a new city after college is exciting, and maybe a little bit terrifying. As I mentioned before, life after college doesn’t have the same built-in structure that made making friends and finding “your people” somewhat easier.

After moving to Philly, it didn’t take long for Maddie to decide she wanted to help herself—and others—along that journey.

“I’m a very outgoing person and felt called to do something both creative and that catered to fostering a community,” she shares.

And thus, Dessert Before Dinner was born—an inclusive craft and social club for women in their 20s looking to get creative and meet new people in Philadelphia.

In February 2025, Maddie took inspiration from community-based initiatives in other cities and posted to Instagram that she was developing the craft and social club.

The following month, the club held its first meetup—a bring-your-own craft event in Washington Square Park.

Making Friends After College Requires Going First

From the start, Dessert Before Dinner was electric. Just take a look at the turnout for the first event:

Over 250 people showed up!

In just a year, the Dessert Before Dinner community has continued to expand—much to Maddie’s disbelief.

“It’s truly such a special group,” Maddie shared. “People crave a welcoming environment to be themselves, and I think in being open about the process and giving people a closer look at who I am and what my aspirations are for the club really brings the community closer.”

And it looks like Dessert Before Dinner has something for everyone. On the group’s Instagram page, there are images documenting a plethora of events: their regular bring-your-own craft picnics, but also more intimate workshops like matcha making, drinkware painting, and holiday flower arranging. There’s even a post about members partaking in a yoga class.

As members have gotten to express their creative side, friendships have naturally formed along the way.

Maddie says she’ll never forget receiving a DM after her very first event. A few attendees who had just met through Dessert Before Dinner went to brunch and then decided to go thrifting together afterward. They thanked her for creating the space.

The message reinforces what many of us already know to be true: people are craving connection more than ever and need gateways.

“I always say that people are coming for the same purpose—to meet new friends. And that everyone should be kind and welcoming.”

Not only did Dessert Before Dinner help Maddie and others build community, but it also led her into the career field she had been dreaming of breaking into for years—social media and marketing. Through connections she built and skills she gained from Dessert Before Dinner, she carved her own career path.

“I honestly don’t think I ever could’ve guessed that this is where I’d be at this point in my life—any expectations I had set for myself have been exceeded ten-fold.”

Not Every Social Event Leads to a Best Friend — and That’s Okay

A hard truth is that sometimes, when we put ourselves out there, it might not be reciprocated or end in the result we may have hoped for. But that doesn’t mean the effort was completely wasted.

“Even if it’s not a friendship you carry after the event ends, everyone ends up chatting with and meeting new people,” she said. “I think that’s super cool on its own.”

That’s a really important reframe.

Sometimes the win is:

• Showing up even when you were nervous or didn’t know anyone
• Having a good conversation, and keeping your social skills in tip-top shape
• Leaving the house instead of staying home

Not every interaction is going to create lasting community. But putting yourself in environments where it’s possible counts and pays off in the end.

Friendships after college might form slowly, but consistency and repetition matter.

How to Build Community After College — No Matter Where You Live

Some of you reading this may not live in Philadelphia or have access to a social club like Dessert Before Dinner.

So, I asked Maddie what advice she would give someone struggling to make friends in a new city.

Her answer wasn’t complicated—but it’s a truth that can sometimes feel hard to put into practice.

“Everyone says it, but the best way to make new friends is to truly be yourself,” she said. “I have made the most meaningful connections by being authentic.”

She advises taking small, bold actions to get there:

• Compliment someone at a coffee shop
• Start a conversation at the park
• Simply put yourself out there first

“One of my good friends is my friend purely because I saw her in a coffee shop and told her she was pretty.”

It can feel intimidating, but by no means are you the only one in the market for connection.

“If it doesn’t go as planned, at least you can say you tried,” she said. “And if it does go well, you were brave and just made a new pal. How cool.”

Final Thoughts: The Life You Want Takes Effort to Build

If there’s one theme that keeps surfacing—for me and maybe for Maddie too—it’s this:
Community after college rarely happens passively.

It requires intention, consistency, and sometimes being willing to put yourself out there first.

Moving to a new city can feel isolating. But so can staying in your hometown or working remotely.

Although connection is rarely accidental, don’t look at it as a negative or insurmountable task.

Whether you join something, start something, or simply strike up a conversation with a stranger about what book they’re reading—the effort counts. There’s a magic in never knowing who you’ll meet.

As Maddie’s story shows, sometimes all it takes is one courageous step to turn someone you’ve never met into something more.