You’re Not the Only One Confused After College — And That Feeling Probably Isn’t Going Away Soon 

If you’ve stumbled on this post, perhaps you’re looking for some direction. Advice on what mistakes not to make in your 20s? Wondering if you’re on the right trajectory after college or making the best decisions for your life?

Feeling Confused After College Is Normal

If I’m honest, this post will most likely not alleviate that. But, if you haven’t realized it yet, it shouldn’t.

As I get closer and closer to the end of my twenties, my biggest learning is that those questions will still come up further into adulthood. And that’s the case for most of the “more adult” adults I’ve spoken to. Or at least, those willing to admit it.

The Questions Don’t Stop—And That’s Okay

When I graduated, I had this idea that I would very soon have it all together—like I would be some fully formed adult trailblazing the world with no moments of confusion or questioning. But I think most people who also felt that way when they left college may have soon discovered a different reality. One full of questions, such as if they were doing everything correctly and if they are on the pathway to success, while also wondering what their definition of success truly is and then comparing to see if their version of it differs from society’s or their family’s.  

The questions may range in severity: “Am I on the right career path?”, “Have I chosen the right partner?” or simply, “I have no more bandwidth to come up with ideas for dinner—am I going to have to figure that out forever?” (The answer is yes, unless said partner is the appointed household chef or you make enough to hire an actual private chef or fend for Uber Eats.)

A few years later, the questions may be, “Have I chosen the right city?” I’m finding it really hard to adjust and make friends. Or “Will I get that promotion?” “Actually, do I even want that promotion?”

You Are Not on an Island

It takes time to get to know yourself and what you truly want out of life, and then once you eventually figure that out, it changes, and you can either choose to respond to the new direction or ignore it.

People aren’t usually announcing their shortcomings, mistakes, or moments of uncertainty, but believe me, most of us have them—even if we don’t seem to. And if you don’t take it from me, take it from RuPaul:

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Life After College Looks Different for Everyone

Maybe your post-college years haven’t been the uncomfortable season I just described. Maybe they’ve been full of laughter more than confusion, more friendship and fellowship than you can recount, and far more career trailblazing.

I really, truly hope they have… But, if they haven’t, know that that’s okay too.

This post wasn’t written to give you all the answers, but to remind you that you have time to figure things out—and this platform is here to support you as you do just that.